Optimize your sleep!
Dear ladies, so hapy to have seen you on our call today, as per your suggestion I am posting this as a separate thread, so we cn go deeper into sleep, as the week and weeks go on.
Under this thread, I will be posting anything that is specific to sleep and your questions about it during today's session.
So...Better Sleep, Night Waking & Habits: Let’s Talk About It!
Last week we asked you:
“What is one thing that excites you about next week: Optimize Your Sleep?”
Thank you for your GREAT questions. 🙌
Here are a few of the themes you asked about:
• “How can I change my habits as a chronic night owl for better health?”
• “How do I get back to sleep after waking up at 3 AM?”
• “Tips for falling back to sleep after waking up?”
• “I have a hard time falling asleep — but once I’m asleep I’m fine. What can help?”
• “How can I get back to sleep after being woken up by my partner or an alarm?”
• “How do I shut off my brain at night and stop the rumination loop?”
You are not alone in any of this 💛 — and so on top of today's core teaching, I want to give you some additional practical tools you can start using right away.
🧠 A Quick FYI: Your Circadian Rhythm Matters
When your sleep and wake times change from day to day, your internal clock gets confused. This can disrupt the hormonal rhythms that support:
• metabolism
• appetite
• recovery
• mood
• brain health
Key hormones affected by inconsistent sleep include:
• Melatonin – signals sleep, cellular repair, and immune function
• Leptin & Ghrelin – regulate hunger and satiety
• Growth Hormone (HGH) – supports tissue repair and fat metabolism
• Cortisol – regulates wakefulness and daily energy rhythm
• Insulin – affects blood sugar balance and energy stability
👉 Consistent sleep and wake times help these hormones do their job properly.
Small habits = big ripple effects.
🌡 Temperature, Night Sweats & Getting Comfortable
Many of you asked about feeling too hot at night or constantly adjusting covers.
Here are some quick, practical tips:
Try this first:
• Sleep in a cool room (16–19°C / 60–67°F)
• Use breathable fabrics (cotton, bamboo, satin) or sleep naked (this could really help:)
• Add a fan for air circulation
• Keep your feet bare and outside the covers
• Avoid heavy meals, alcohol, spicy foods, and sugary foods 3–4 hours before bed
• Limit fluids 1–2 hours before bedtime
• Take a warm shower or a magnesium salt bath before bed
• Consider magnesium glycinate and Glycine 1-2 hours before bed (check with your sano MidLife clinician first!)
Optional extras:
• Open a window for fresh air before bed
• Use a humidifier with calming oils like lavender or peppermint
Small environment tweaks can make a huge difference.
😴 Woke Up at 2 or 3 AM? Here’s What to Do
First — take a breath. This happens to almost everyone.
Step 1: Try to Reset in Bed
• 4–8 rounds of Box Breathing or Cyclic Breathing
• Don’t check the clock
• Remind yourself: “I’m safe. I’m resting. I’ll be okay tomorrow.”
Step 2: If You’re Still Awake After 10–15 Minutes
It’s okay to get up.
• Leave the bedroom so your brain doesn’t link “awake” with “bed”
• Turn on soft, dim lighting
• Make calming tea (mint or chamomile)
• Do something gentle: read, journal, stretch, pray, knit
• Try a guided meditation or visualization
• If you’re hungry, have a light protein snack (Greek yogurt, cottage cheese, an egg, or a protein shake)
When you feel sleepy again, head back to bed.
The goal is to teach your nervous system:
Bed = calm + sleep — not frustration.
🌅 The Morning After a Rough Night
If you didn’t sleep well:
• Get up at your usual time anyway
• Go outside for morning sunlight
• Move your body early (a walk works wonders)
• Consider a short nap if possible
If wake-ups become frequent (3+ times/week for 3+ months), it may be helpful to seek additional support such as CBT-I (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia).
💬 A Note on Hot Flashes & Medical Concerns
If you’re dealing with:
• persistent hot flashes
• sleep issues related to medications
• post-cancer treatment hormone changes
Please reach out to your sanoMidLife team so we can support you individually:
You don’t have to navigate this alone.
Now It’s Your Turn 💬
Let’s keep this conversation going!
In the comments, tell us:
What is YOUR biggest sleep challenge right now?
Falling asleep? Staying asleep? Night sweats? Busy mind?
Share below — and let’s support each other with ideas, experiences, and encouragement. This community is here to help you feel heard and supported.
Sleep is a skill, not a personality trait.
And you are absolutely capable of learning it 💛
🩺 An Important Note: Don’t Overlook Sleep Apnea
One more, essential thing to consider:
If you regularly:
• wake up multiple times at night
• feel unrefreshed even after “enough” hours of sleep
• snore loudly or have been told you stop breathing at night
• wake up gasping, choking, or with a very dry mouth
• feel excessively tired during the day
• struggle with morning headaches or brain fog
…it may be worth getting evaluated for sleep apnea.
Sleep apnea is extremely common — especially in midlife — and many people have it without knowing. Untreated apnea can affect hormones, mood, blood pressure, metabolism, and overall health.
The good news?
It is very treatable, and addressing it can completely transform your energy, sleep quality, and wellbeing.
If any of the above sounds like you, please consider talking with your healthcare provider or your sanoMidLife clinician about a sleep assessment.
See you very soon, and share any additional questions or comments you have. Let's make this a conversation that supports YOU exactly where you are.
I got you, your Thrive in 12 coach, Sasha
P.S. Please connect to your personal sanoMidLife assigned coach and/or clinician for deeper support:)!
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Official comment
Thank you so much for your response 😊
I trust that you’re already in communication with our admin team, and they’ll be able to support you with next steps on the clinical side.I also wanted to clarify Office Hours, which I mentioned we’ll be adding starting next week. You’ll receive the details and link to join soon. These will be live group Office Hours, offered as part of the Thrive in 12 program.
The intention of these sessions is to give Thrive in 12 participants a dedicated space to share, ask questions, and receive additional guidance within my scope of practice, specifically related to the topics we cover in the weekly teaching modules. Because our time is limited during the Tuesday sessions—and as you’ve seen, there’s a lot of thoughtful engagement—we wanted to create more room to support you, and to allow participants to learn from and encourage one another.
Community connection is a powerful part of sustainable transformation, and these Office Hours are designed to support that in a meaningful way.
I’m really glad you’re here, and I look forward to connecting with you in that space.
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Sasha are you my coach? Or is that an extra purchase? Your note is signed, your coach. My menopause symptoms are caused by the Estrogen blocker I am taking post breast cancer. I only drink decaffeinated coffee now, and my sleep hygiene naturally follows so many points you spoke about. I guess I am trying to learn what triggers my hot flashes to best manage them. I tried taking the tablet in the AM after breakfast and was waking frequently with hot flashes. I took it at
bedtime( didn't want to eat at bedtime) and woke with nausea and hot flashes. Now I am trying it after lunch. I have a fan above my bed which really helps, and I keep my bedroom cool. Low lighting etc. Mostly I think its timing i am trying to understand- especially the relationship between my estrogen blocker and hot flashes. Ty0 -
Donna Armstrong, hello thank you for the question! I apologize for the confusion - I am your Thrive in 12 coach:) but not your personal sanoMidLife coach, which is someone you get matched with once you sign up for the full service (which is possibly covered by your insurance provider: I have also flagged for our team to adress your other question about sanoMidLife's service in the thread you shared separately- so this will get clarified for you shortly.) As for the above:
Thank you for sharing this so honestly, and for being so thoughtful and proactive about understanding your body. What you’re experiencing makes a lot of sense, especially given that your symptoms are linked to an estrogen-blocking medication. You’re not doing anything “wrong,” and the fact that you’re noticing patterns around timing is actually a really important insight.
I want to be very clear first: since I’m not a clinician or prescribing provider, so I can’t advise on medication timing. Because your hot flashes are medication-related, I strongly encourage you to continue this conversation with your oncology team or prescribing clinician. If you’d like more integrative support, this is also exactly the kind of situation where working with a sanoMidLife Health Coach and Nurse Practitioner together can be incredibly helpful, so you’re not navigating this alone.
That said, there are supportive, evidence-based strategies within my scope that may help you regulate symptoms and feel more in control while you and your care team fine-tune the medical side.
A few important things to normalize first
Estrogen blockers can significantly affect:
• Thermoregulation (how your brain controls body temperature)
• The nervous system (especially sympathetic “fight-or-flight” tone)
• Cortisol rhythms
• Sleep architectureThis means hot flashes are not just a “heat issue” — they are often a neuro-hormonal stress response, which is why nervous-system regulation can be so powerful.
What you’re already doing well
You’re actually covering many of the foundations beautifully:
• Cool bedroom
• Fan for air circulation
• Low lighting at night
• Caffeine elimination
• Strong sleep hygieneThose are huge protective factors.
Supportive holistic strategies you can experiment with
1. Regulate the nervous system before bed — not just during symptoms
Hot flashes often come with a cortisol surge. One of the most effective non-pharmacologic tools we have is anticipatory calming.
I recommend a cooling evening ritual, done consistently, even on “good” nights:
• Warm (not hot) bath or shower 60–90 minutes before bed
(This helps lower core body temperature afterward:-)
• Gentle self-massage, and you can use cooling oils as you do that (neck, shoulders, chest, arms, jaw) and/or dry brushing - also helps stimulate the lymphatic system which is very helpful.
• Cooling or calming breathwork before bed and through the hot flashBreath suggestion:
Slow nasal breathing with extra long exhales (commit to do this for at least 8-10 minutes daily for at least a week to see effects.)
Example: inhale 4 seconds, exhale 6–8 seconds
This can help lower cortisol and support oxytocin release, which counteracts stress hormones.If a hot flash wakes you, return to the breath immediately: don’t wait for the heat to pass on its own.
2. Reframe anticipation
Anticipating hot flashes can actually prime the nervous system.
Instead of:
“I’m going to wake up hot again…”Try gently practicing:
“My body knows how to cool itself.”
“I have tools to support myself to feel cool if this happens.”
“I can stay calm and safe while this wave passes through and leaves me cool.”I highly encourage you to start journaling this before bed, as this mindset reframe practice can help retrain the brain away from threat-based expectation and toward safety.
3. Daytime timing, meals, and triggers
You’re absolutely right that timing matters, and many women notice that symptoms are influenced by what happens earlier in the day.
General supportive guidelines (not medical advice):
• Avoid spicy, highly inflammatory, or very high-sugar meals — especially later in the day
• Ensure adequate of whole food, easily digestible protein and healthy fats at meals (they stabilize blood sugar and cortisol)
• Watch for patterns around any specific foods, or hidden nutrition related "triggers" (histamine containing foods, dairy, gluten, processed foods) and alcohol, even small amounts- see if you can experiment and notice any change in symptoms
• Keep hydration steady earlier in the day, tapering slightly in the eveningIf after-lunch dosing feels gentler so far, that’s useful information to bring back to your clinical team.
4. Environmental supports
You already use a fan and it helps- that is great!
You might also experiment with:
• An air purifier and a humidifier (especially in dry environments and since you are sharing a bed)
• Cooling essential oils (peppermint, eucalyptus, lavender — lightly diffused)
• Breathable bedding and sleepwear (or sleeping in the nude.)These don’t treat the cause, but they reduce the nervous system’s perception of threat.
The most important next step
Because your hot flashes are clearly linked to an estrogen blocker after breast cancer treatment, this deserves coordinated clinical care.
Please continue discussing:
• Medication timing
• Symptom patterns
• Sleep disruptionwith your oncology or prescribing team.
If you’d like additional integrative support, you’re also very welcome to reach out to us at info@sanoliving.ai to explore working with a Health Coach and Nurse Practitioner together.
You’re doing an incredible job listening to your body, asking the right questions, and staying engaged with your care. You’re not alone in this: and there are ways to make this more manageable with the right support!
I hope this was helpful Donna, let me know if/when you try some of the above suggestions, and I hope to also see you at our Offcie Hours as of next week, so I can give you some more hands-on mindset focused support. You have got this- and we are here for you, know that you are not alone.
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I appreciate your detailed response, Sasha. My oncologist said she wanted me to take the medication for 2 months before requesting any help. So I am on my own until Feb.11. It occurs to me I should set up an appointment.
I do have a settling ritual every night, I have a habit of NOT expecting the worst. Instead I allow whatever feelings I am having about what is happening- as opposed to resisting, which holds onto them.I do breathing in bed pre sleep, and throughout the day when I remember. I walk every morning, and am adding in tai chi as I am able. My bedroom is very cool, and my living space is usually about 67-69 F. I prefer to add a hoodie. My joints and muscles are very sore. I had osteoarthritis already. I had a bone scan, but no results given to me yet. I have been dealing with cognitive shifts, etc. I am fortunate I have 2 very supportive sons. They work long hard hours.
I am meeting with a dietician on Thursday and hope she can help. She is paid for through BC Cancer. It has been difficult to lose weight. I know doing that will support my body in many ways.
I have written to the email address you included to see if I have access to a coach, or nurse practitioner as you suggested. Wish me luck :)
I don't understand the Office Hours reference. Will it be possible to speak with you? I can't afford to pay for extra support.
Ty, Sasha
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Hello Sasha,
I clicked unsuccessfully on invite a clinician - does not engage however firewall may potentially be blocking as am sending you message during break at work...
I desperately need help with sleep...
Am 57, caregiver to elderly father and work in ER department with a schedule of 10 days on 11p-7a and 4 days off every two weeks .. by time reach home is 8am and am still fasting until 12n so try to sleep until such time however many factors are wakening me (pee, hunger, train whistles, father texting me, laundry, cooking, cleaning etc) and I struggle to get back to sleep - worse in the summer as enjoy outdoors til after dinner and then rest again from 730p-930p to just do it all over again with <6 hours daily of rest.
This is NOT sustainable however this is my reality and need some direction, coping mechanisms, anything so that I am not cutting my life shorter (Note trying desperately to find daytime hour employment).
You are welcome to ring me 416-454-9067 or email me to arrange time to discuss. Many thanks Dawn
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Hello, and thank you so much for sharing this. I want to start by saying how much I hear the weight of what you’re carrying.
Working night shifts, caregiving for an elderly parent, and trying to function on fragmented sleep is extraordinarily demanding. The fact that you’re aware this isn’t sustainable and are reaching out for support already speaks to how much you care about your health and longevity.
I want to gently clarify my role here so you get the right kind of support, while also offering you some immediate guidance.
First, about my role here
In Thrive in 12 and in this forum, my role is to:
- Provide education, structure, and general guidance
- Share evidence-based tools and resources
- Help you understand why things may be happening and what tends to help broadly
This space is not a clinical or 1:1 coaching environment, and I’m not able to meet or speak with members individually outside the program. For personalized, ongoing, or medical-level care — especially with sleep challenges like yours — having a dedicated Health Coach and Clinician is really important.
I’ll share how to access that below.
Some supportive guidance (within my role’s scope)
Given your schedule and circumstances, a few things stand out that can help support your nervous system and sleep even if perfect sleep isn’t possible right now:
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Protect a “core sleep block”
With rotating night shifts, the goal isn’t perfect circadian alignment — it’s reducing stress on your system.
- Aim to protect one main sleep window after your shift (even if it’s shorter)
- Use eye masks, earplugs or white noise (you’re already doing this well)
- Silence non-urgent notifications during that window if at all possible
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Nervous system regulation before sleep
Fragmented sleep is often driven by cortisol and nervous system activation.
Before sleep (and even during awakenings), try:
- Slow breathing (longer exhales than inhales)
- Gentle self-massage (neck, jaw, feet)
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A short grounding or prayer/meditation practice
This isn’t about “forcing sleep” — it’s about signaling safety.
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Fueling enough, especially with your schedule
Long fasting + night work + caregiving can increase stress hormones.
You might experiment (with professional guidance) with:
- Adequate protein and healthy fats earlier in the day
-
A light, protein-rich option if hunger wakes you
This isn’t a failure — it’s physiology.
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Daytime light when possible
Even brief outdoor light exposure when you wake (or later in the day on off days) helps anchor your rhythm over time.
These are coping and supportive strategies, not a full solution — and that’s an important distinction.
Why additional support really matters here
What you’re describing goes beyond “sleep hygiene.”
Shift work, chronic sleep disruption, caregiving stress, and hormonal changes at midlife all interact, and they deserve individualized, team-based care.This is exactly what the sanoMidLife service is designed for.
With the full program, you would have:
- A dedicated Health Coach to help you navigate sleep, stress, nutrition, and routines within your real-life constraints
- A Nurse Practitioner to assess medical contributors to sleep disruption and guide treatment options
- An opportunity to work with a naturopathic support if appropriate
- Continuity and follow-up, not one-off advice
Your first appointment is complimentary, with no obligation to continue.
You can explore whether it feels right for you.To learn more or book, you can:
- Visit the sanoMidLife portal
- Or email info@sanoliving.ai
What’s coming next in Thrive in 12
Soon, we’ll also be introducing live Office Hours within Thrive in 12.
These will offer:- More real-time Q&A
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Additional guidance and support
(Still educational and group-based — not clinical or individualized care)
You’ll receive details and a link very soon.
Please know this: nothing about your experience means you’re failing.
Your nervous system is responding to an extremely demanding reality — and support matters.I’m really glad you spoke up here, and I truly encourage you to explore the additional care options so you don’t have to carry this alone. I look forward to continuing our journey in Thrive in 12.
I hope this was helpful!
You’re very welcome in this community, and we’re rooting for you 🤍
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What's the regular heart rate when sleeping? I've been told that my heart rate goes as low as 42-44 beats.
Also I wear a fitwatch which measure my sleep and others, how much do you trust it?0 -
🌅 Follow-Up: Morning Light, Coffee Timing & Real-Life Sleep Questions
Thank you all for such thoughtful questions during our sleep session 💛
I wanted to follow up here to address a few themes that came up in the chat that we didn’t fully explore live — especially around morning light, coffee timing, fasting, and winter realities.If any of this feels challenging… you are not alone. This is about progress, not perfection.
🌞 “It’s dark when I wake up — how do I get morning light?”
This came up quite a bit, especially for those of you:
- waking up before sunrise
- living in extreme climates (hello, Newfoundland 👋)
- heading out the door early for work
Here’s what matters most:
Morning light helps anchor your circadian rhythm — but it does not have to be literal sunrise at the exact moment you wake.If the sun is up:
- 5–10 minutes outside is enough
- Standing on the porch, balcony, or by an open window absolutely counts
- No sunglasses/glasses/contacts
If it’s still dark:
- Keep your wake time consistent
- Keep the lights dim
- Get outside within the first 30–60 minutes after sunrise when possible
- A morning walk in the dark is still beneficial for movement — add light exposure later
Optional support in winter:
- A high-quality light therapy lamp (used in the late morning/around noon only) can help.
➡️ Consistency matters more than perfection.
☕ “Delaying coffee is so hard — why does it matter?”
I hear you 😄
This is not about taking away joy; it’s about protecting your energy and sleep later.Why we suggest delaying coffee:
- Cortisol naturally rises in the first 60–90 minutes after waking
- Caffeine too early can:
- spike stress hormones
- increase mid-morning crashes
- worsen anxiety and sleep later that night
Practical guidelines:
- Aim to delay coffee ~60–90 minutes after waking if possible
- If you eat a full breakfast later (ex: 10 a.m.):
- You can have coffee earlier (ex: 8:30 a.m.), but try to pair it with protein (a cup of Greek yogurt, protein shake, or add a scoop of protein to your coffee)
- Decaf is generally fine -but still best to have with food for the sake of your digestive system
- Herbal tea, or a caffeine-free chai (like Bengal Spice 🌿) with some warm milk, is a great bridge!
➡️ This is flexible, and everyone is unique — listen to your body, not rules:)
🥣 “What if I’m fasting?”
Great question.
Fasting does not automatically disrupt circadian rhythm — but it can if:
- stress is high
- sleep is already fragile
- coffee replaces nourishment entirely
If you’re fasting:
- Still prioritize morning light
- Hydrate well
- Consider delaying caffeine slightly
- If sleep or energy suffers, fasting may need adjusting (temporarily or long-term)
Your biology always comes first.
🛌 “I wake up early or grind my teeth — any tips?”
A few excellent points came up here:
- Pillow quality and position matter — neck and jaw alignment can impact sleep quality (see about getting an ergonomic pillow, like this one)
- Putting a pillow under your knees can be extremely helpful, and support your back (as well as help you sleep on your back- which is ideal for most people’s anatomy, even if not “intuitive.”
- Sleeping on your back is best, but if you sleep on your side, try placing a pillow between your knees to help with spine alignment. Try mouth tape, as you could be mouth breathing.
- If you grind your teeth:
- A mouth guard is helpful
- Nasal breathing, jaw relaxation, and stress reduction are key
- Dimming lights in the evening (even partially!) can make a huge difference — thank you to the member who shared this win 🙌
📱 Helpful resources you shared (thank you!)
- Insight Timer — free app with breathing practices, meditations, and sleep support
- White noise, headphones, an eye mask, or sleep bands can be excellent tools when environment isn’t fully controllable
🌙 Final reassurance
If your bedtimes have been all over the place — you’re human.
If delaying coffee feels hard — that’s normal.
If winter makes all of this trickier — you’re not failing.Small, repeatable adjustments compound over time.
💬 I’d love to hear from you below:
- Which one of these feels most doable right now?
- Morning light, coffee timing, evening lights, or something else?
We’re building this together, one habit at a time!
See you soon,
Your Sasha
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Violet MeierThank you for the question: From what I have found 42-44 beats is normal, unless you feel unwell. Your h/r can naturally drop to anywhere between 40 and 60 beats during sleep, especially if you are fit. (Again, mine is not medical advice, so always consult with your primary care provider if you are concerned.)
As for wearables like your Fitbit, or the Oura ring, for example, I advise to take their data with a VERY BIG grain of salt, it is often not very accurate, and often misleading, especially when it comes to analyzing your sleep quality/quantity. As well, it can cause more stress with its findings, so I would not rely on it. I hope this helps!
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